No one wins...

I am not the kind of person that you'll find crying for love. I am not. I did once, it was really lame and I hope it never happens again. So when I decided to put a finish line to my five year relationship. No I did not cry. That doesn't mean I wasn't sad. But things happen and you move on. If I survived that crying once, I will survive this one, with nice shoes and an infinite amount of alcohol in the blood.

The thing is that for some reason I always end up being the witch in the fairy tale. I really don't understand. I consider myself as a very honest person. If I don't feel fine why would I be there? Also, is unfair to keep someone attach to me if I know that is not gonna happen. Is not easy to end a relationship. I felt shitty as shit, I repeated the reasons and the words to myself a million time. I was sure of my decision but I knew I was about to hurt someone really bad and walk away with that.

So I choose wisely my words, I clear my mind and I made clear my reasons. But most important, I tried to be the grown up. I knew I wasn't just ending a relationship with a man. I was by fact loosing my BEST FRIEND EVER! The guy that made me laugh insanely, the boy that thought I was incredibly beautiful and sexy, the man that always have something good to say to make me feel better and that same one that tolerated my PMS, anger crisis, my drunkness stupidity and still made me breakfast in the morning. So YES I was loosing. But I wasn't in love and that was the harder part to realize. How you tell someone, you're not in love and not feel miserable?

But I know when to walk away. I respect a relationship very much and I didn't want to wait until that moment when people look like shit together but no one nows how to be without the other one. I believe that the love of my life is somewhere waiting for me. I have faith and I want to believe.

So yes, I ended. No I didn't die and NO I AM NOT THE BAD ONE HERE. I'm just a woman that wants to be HAPPY. Is that too much to ask? Does that makes me a monster?